Barbecue Breakfast Broadcasting

Morning TV Politics: Waking up to Spicy Breakfast TV

1 to 2 min read

Full English Breakfast

Remember when morning television was just the weather and a half-baked celebrity chef? Look at things now! It's turned into a gladiatorial arena where lions grill politicians harder than a full English. Good Morning Britain has practically become 24 hours in police custody with better lighting and more makeup! 

The Interview Olympics

Watching politicians evasion skills on morning shows has become its own form of entertainment. The presenters lean forward with that 'I've got you now,' expression, but their political guests are trained in slippery dialogue and navigate questions like it's literally a verbal version of ninja warrior. If their skills were translated into a physical context these Westminster folk would br wrestling silverbacks over banana rights.

If you can recall there was an information problem surrounding the Southport tragedy? Certain MPs suggested the police were being a bit tight-lipped about details. Like cats on a laser pointer, breakfast show hosts pounced. Everything about the pair was, 'How dare you question the authorities!' However, we all know questioning authority is supposed to be the media's primary job description It’s like what The Angry Bootneck said in his video: police do withhold info! 

The Information Dance

Here's the thing about police investigations; the transparency is like a brick wall with decent rendering and a lick of black paint. We waited ages for the full story on the Manchester Arena bombing. The Salisbury poisoning? Same deal. It's like trying to get your teenage son to explain why he has no socks anymore—you get bits and pieces, then the emerging picture makes you appreciate why people keep quiet.

The authorities have their reasons, of course they do! Legal procedures, ongoing investigations, not wanting to prejudice potential trials. On the same token, it does leave Joe Bloggs Public feeling like everythings turned into a true crime Netflix series with missing episodes.

Like a Nasty Accident at the National Break Dancing Championship

As usual, a new government comes in centre-stage bopping up and down with music, grand promises to fix everything, then discovers that running a country is a tad more awkward than their campaign leaflets said before face-planting the floor. Oh shit, indeed! They know it feels like they're expected to solve a Rubik's cube while powering a speedboat over the rapids. The PM has that startled-deer-look in his eye, he knows he's screwed.

The housing crisis is doing really well, the beached NHS continues its heroic fight against the national sense of guilty pessimism, and town centers keep promoting nostalgia for the good old days when most shops weren't charity.

The Fairness Circus

Two tier this, immigrants that. We do get annoyed when some people get more than others do, inequality is it or discrimination? I was told about English Heritage offering free memberships to some certain groups while others pay full whack—cue the inevitable arguments and tensions. It's like trying to share a pizza fairly at a party where everyone has a strong opinion about toppings.

We all want fairness, but defining what's objectively fair for everyone is like trying to nail jelly to a wall—messy and ultimately futile.

International Intrigue

Our foreign policy adventures are great, we seem lost. Britain's international affairs is like a social inadequate being asked to explain quantum physics using only emojis. The public gets simplified versions of complex situations. Our leader is like an embarrassing parent who lies through his teeth to get in with the 'cool kids'. 

Finding the Silver Lining

But here's the thing—despite all the chaos, confusion, and morning TV theatrics, Britain keeps chugging along like an octogenarian chain smoking amputee. We've survived worse times relying on our impenetrable wall of deliberate comedic humour and foolishness as well as flatulence.

Maybe the answer is to remember that democracy is a bit like a communal garden—it only works when everyone does their bit, okay, maybe that'll never happen! Simply paying attention and occasionally rolling your eyes at the absurdity of it all is as good as it gets?  

My Conclusion... 

At least it isn't boring? No? On our television screens full of negative news and silly problems, perhaps a bit of ignorance is exactly the kind of solution we need? Surely there's a lot of delightful news to be shared instead of gloom, doom and, imagine another rhyming word. Instead, play video games, walk your dog, we can't stop stupid. What sort of conclusion is this? 

Please leave me a comment, it would be nice to hear your ideas!