Monday, 24 April 2023

Saint Derfel

The Legend of King Arthur: Derfel Cadarn

Celtic Britons

3 to 4 min read

While I was reading about the intimidating nature of Derfel Cadarn, I couldn't help but notice his immense power in the various poems and annales—he fought the Anglo-Saxons in Edinburgh and across England and Wales. He was a renowned man; a man who serves as the central character in Bernard Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles. Though a work of fiction, it's based on historical events from the British wars fending off the Germanic influx of invaders. Derfel Cadarn is rightly portrayed as an exceptionally skilled and courageous fighter. This led me to wonder about the true identity of the historical figure behind the character, Saint Derfel, and what we might glean from that era.

An Amateur Cartoonist Illustration of Derfel Cadarn, a character in the Warlord Chronicles

I found a man called Saint Derfel who lived in Wales during the 6th century. He was highly revered by the Catholic Church. Prior to his priesthood, he was likely a trained warrior, which is what Cornwell's book focuses on. After the great Roman departure from Celtic Britain, Roman culture remained somewhat, but the old tribal tensions returned, and territorial dispute fragmented the land. War was everywhere. Irish pirates, Picts, Saxons and neighbouring tribes. 

Celtic 3d art

Derfel was a proficient and fierce fighter who led a troop of his own. However, he was not only proficient at killing, but also extremely loyal and honourable to King Arthur. What sets him apart is that he encompasses dual qualities, being both a warrior and later, a priest, a hero and a sinner. This combination makes him a compelling character, and on that, I recommend reading the Winter King by Bernard Cornwell.

Celtic Britons illustration drinking and feasting

It is true, Derfel Cadarn is associated with King Arthur in legend, but it is unclear whether he actually fought alongside any King Arthur-like figure back in those ancient times. That being said, sources still mention Derfel Cadarn as being with the legendary Arthur himself. I would have been terrified to fight alongside these men; hearing the dying broadcast their agonising pleas to their gods, haunting the crimson battlefield. They expected all men to fight and few survived to see their twilight years. 

Romano British warriors, one on a horse the other on foot

Consider, the Triad of Welsh Tales and Legends of Medieval Wales, De Feuer (Derfel) is mentioned as one of the 'three best knights in Arthur's court'. The 7th-century Welsh epic 'Y Gododdin' celebrates Derfel as a warrior who fought alongside other heroes at the Battle of Catret, including Gwavrdur, a possible pre-curse of todays legendary King Arthur. However, we cannot prove Gwawrddur is really King Arthur. In later Welsh writing, Derfel is a close confidant of Arthur, and is centred within numerous of Arthur's battles.

A cartoon celt holding a vote for king Arther placard

Discerning fact from fiction is very difficult. Are these stories based on any particular historical truth? People may claim these legends come from pure mythology—what inspires our mythology? Marching directly into a fight with hordes of murderous, Germanic invaders, who were militarily superior? It seemed like imminent death, near suicide, but these resilient Romano-Celtic Britons used strategy and terrified them. After the Anglo-Saxon loss at the Battle of Badon, the invaders kept away from the Britons decades. 

Me as a cartoon dressed as a celt

In the Winter King, Derfel's story is about bravery, loyalty and honour during challenging times. This all had a significant impact on everyone's lives. During the Celtic wars against the invading Anglo-Saxons, individuals such as Derfel Cadarn emerged as true examples on how to take the fight to the invaders.

Is DC's Cyborg Rubbish?

The Cybernetic Outcast: A Symbol for the Futurist

Cyborg DC

3 to 4 min read


Victor Stone, the Cyborg, always comes across as a bit of a miserable bastard because he is, literally, the internet on legs. To be realistic just trying to log on to my bank is a right pain in the arse! Could you imagine all the popups and ads this bloke must get when he's just trying to buy himself a new waterproof coat? Yes, he's science and technology incarnate, but is that necessarily as glorious as they try to make it seem? If he already is the symbol of what we are becoming his head must be so Tik Tok sodden, Pornhubbed up to the temporal lobes, 4channed to the point of social media psychosis. Yes, he may well be beyond GCHQ, Mossad, MI6 and every other secret service, but this bloke'll be taking more pop-ups than anyone: constant invitations to try male enhancing pills, personality quizzes and not to mention years worth videos showing imbeciles punching each other in the crown jewels, because that's the internet! All that nasty porn and the onlyfans flirts — this man has no cock or bollocks! No wonder he's packing disappointment.

Cartoon of a religious guy sneaking some dodgy internet material

In those shit Justice League films, and the improved Snyder cut offering, we understandably see Cyborg struggle. Come on? he's not just adapting to his cybernetic enhancements, but having to come to terms with the obvious, a truth even Wonder Woman avoided like the plague. Just showing a bit of effort to fight for the greater good is pretty outstanding for anyone in his situation. He is a great example of the estranged outcast, self-ostracised or the proverbial lone wolf, but he is primarily emasculated, but we all ignore that! He tries, in the Justice League films to make bonds with Flash and Wonder woman somewhat, but not so much with Batman or Superman the most manly characters because of the risky banter, I guess. However, along with the man of Steel (a name that must add insult to injury) and Lantern, he can fly! Yes, we saw him weaponise his cybernetic body, turning his arm into a rifle, but not a fun gun. So bloody bleak.


In Teen Titans Go!, the series by Marv Wolfman and George Perez, Cyborg is quite funny! He's an animated singing and dancing, crime-fighting comedian, who loves pie! Totally different to the movie, as expected. I've watched hours of this show with our little ones, for me it's all about the caricatures, especially of Batman and Gordon, but I do like Beast Boy and Cyborg.

Teen Titans Characters

During the war with Darkseid, Cyborg and the rest of the Justice League, fought bravely. This other castrated comic version of Victor Stone was holding his own, then smash! I was quite surprised, I thought he was going to die! He took a nasty hit. The incident was also in the corresponding Justice League: War animated movie. I am glad he was added to the league roster, he works well but seems to be a tad bit of a token black guy? No? There's never any Kazakhstani superheroes either. Cyborg has become increasingly more popular over the last decade; he also appeared in the animated Justice League movies as well as the Doom Patrol show, which I was so tempted to watch but thought better of it and declined; he looked like a cosplayer on a cruel budget. The animated movie gave me diarrhea, well logorrhea, I couldn't stop ranting at the television. 



His tragic backstory in the comic books and cinema are slightly different. A horrible accident leaves him profoundly worse for wear and disabled. His life, however in the comic books, is saved by his father's proficiency with advanced technology, yes: his dad built the Cyborg.
Cyborg in doom patrol

The movies implementation of an advanced technological mother box from the planet Apokolypse is a great backstory. Superduper self-aware alien tech that merges with a eunuch, making a trans-human. I love it. The older comic versions hold little to no believability, but to say a single human created all of Victor Stones cybernetics means he retains his meat and two veg in one iteration, because in the accident he has his legs and wedding tackle in place. In print you can analyse these Stones more closely!
Cyborg from the comics

Speaking of performance, I've heard people say that Cyborg has always played an important role in the portrayal of disabled people in comics. No he hasn't! He can fly, and punch through walls, I promise you he would not qualify for personal independence payments or disability living allowance. His stories of adaptation and overcoming obstacles might resonate well with many readers but other characters do the same! I think Barbara Gordon is a better candidate for people with disabilities, given how she was shot and had to use a wheelchair for years!


Bouncing cartoon buttocks









Sunday, 23 April 2023

The Problem with Hal Jordan as Green Lantern!

That Cringy Green Lantern You Want To See Fail! 

Hal Jordan, the fearsome Green Lantern of Sector 2814. 

4 min read

I've decided Hal is a bit of a bellend. One of those embarrassing characters who faces many challenges and setbacks, but still, always wins because the story writers have made him a 'Barry-Sue' is it or 'Marty Stu'? This is a man who soldiers on in his stories, and sometimes, you just want him to fail. A cheesy cock and predictable risk taker who has to overcome the toughest obstacles just to show you that determination means success. Isn't that a ball ache? That's him in a nutsack, a pointless Top Gun-esque maverick throwback who never moved on, but, surprisingly, he might grow on you because he carries the story. The character has blatant copy and paste attributes, but sometimes, I like the cheesy bastard! 

Hal Jordan flying across the sky

The Big Cheese

We can gather Jordan isn't as cool as any other lantern, because they're either more interesting than he is and modern, or simply fucking aliens. In fact, Hal Jordan is a gimmicky gonad of a guy! Look at these men I googled and see for yourself. Who plagiarised who here? Hal Jordan must be related to that resistance hero guy in the original 1983 television series, V. Look, it's a fucking Cheddar factory: 

Comparison of Hal Jordan with retro tv heroes

It Has Something Beautiful

The Green Lantern Corps, on the other hand, is a collective force of bad-assery, and weirdness. It's under the leadership of ancient, blue coloured 'guardians.' Green Lanterns are super advanced space police of the DC Universe, empowered by rings of the highest technological advancements, that perfectly aid Lanterns who wear them. What a prick of a choice for a main character! The rings grant almost unlimited powers, limited only by the wearers imagination and will; they help protect the galaxy from all manner of threats. This is a fantastic premise that needs to be realised one day in a massive movie trilogy or TV series.


What makes the Corps unique is the diversity of its members; many originating from various world's across the universe, and possessing unique qualities. The diversity is wonderful, it works in a spectrum of life and dynamic relationships, one such member is the rough-hewn Kilowog, a monstrously pig-like Bolovaxian with the appearance of a pitbull, who took Jordan under his wing and bantered with him throughout the comic book series. They attempted to emulate this with the poorly received Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern movie. 

Omnibus sets of the lantern story

Where Lantern Fits In

Hal Jordan is saturated with will power because he is very determined, great. Of course, given his heroic stature there'll be no lack of unwavering dedication to protect the innocent and uphold justice—that stuff is just goes without saying. Hal Jordan is not an enjoyable comic character but maybe his past troubles added a little flavour to his graphic novels. A tad. Sorta. From the loss of his father to the destruction of his entire hometown, Coast City, this bloke has suffered many trials. Batman has an interesting role in The Sinistro War. Superman and Wonder woman make appearances in these pre-new 52 stories, but this is before Cyborg was in the Justice League and the Flash isn't important it's the story arc. I prefer these Geoff John's Lantern publications a New 52 or Rebirth alternative. 

The lantern collection of choice

Delicious Reads and Superb Powers

The ability to fly and to be shielded, as well as being able to wield such an extremely powerful ring. Jordan can fly across space. These are great qualities that he brings to the table. It might not be an intellectual read, but it's it's a tasty graphic novel! All those colourful, busy battle scenes are eye candy, beautiful. This striving hero is predictable for the reader but, I think it would be better if his friends, Kilowog, Guy Gardner and John Stewart saw him as a total p*nis. If he was a lone wolf, so to speak, it would be intolerable—teamwork, locations, enemies and characters make his comics good. 

The brightest day was a pleasurable read

These printed green lanterns can be more epic sci-fi than the earth based superhero stories. Opposing factions of lanterns fire projectiles that brutally kill their enemies, quite graphically at times. Limbs are lost and skulls cracked, we see innards. I don't know if it is my inner psychopath but, I like this sort of reality to this comic book war! 

Jordan taking off into the sky

Last Word On This

I've read the best of the Lanterns, enjoying Jordans legacy through the comic book masterpiece of Geoff Johns: I own the Eaglemoss version of the collection (above) it really is a daisy! I have a love hate with relationship with this. The contribution of other superheroes and characters improve it. I do find is easy to accept the 80s stereotypical white hero, but it has been improving in cartoons and such. So grab yourself a Geoff Johns from off the internet and enjoy paying tribute to one of DC's most beloved and enduring cheesy heroes, Hal Jordan!


Let me know in the comments what you think!


Saturday, 22 April 2023

What Everyone Gets Wrong About Joan of Arc's 'Divine Mission'.

Joan of Arc: The Unseen Story Behind France’s Most Compelling Character

7 to 9 min read

Who was Joan of Arc?

Jeanne d'Arc, was born in the year 1412 in Domrémy, a village in north eastern France. Her father was Jacques d'Arc, a farmer, and Isabelle Romée. To English speakers she is known as Joan of Arc, and we might picture her in the same light as how the movies and entertainment might portray her: like a pious Wonder women, but raised on Catholicism instead of the old Greek gods. For all we know her personality might have been awful!

A beautiful depiction of Joan of Arc

Joan grew up surrounded by a community that shared a dominant religious worldview, in a land of political unrest, which she would have accepted from a very young age. This fits my mental imagining of this highly religionised unlikely warrior woman. The key to her story however, was that she told people that she heard the voices of various saints urging her to help France in it's war against England. 


The Military Mind: Was Joan of Arc a Secret Strategist?

As a child I was told about this woman hearing voices speak to her and I believed she had something in common with Arkham Asylum patients. However, there is a gorgeous theory about her divine 'voices' impressively being put to political and strategical uses; a code to secretly communicate orders to their own troops! What has always been seen as Joan of Arc's unfaltering faith and self sacrificial stance with the English, may well have been the woman protecting a 'secret command' which was directed and inspired French resistance! For as we saw in Domrémy, God backed the French against the woeful English. So clever!


The Unstable Monarchy of Charles VI

The context of Joan of Arc's story is historical France, which was not very stable, much like it's Monarch, King Charles VI. Looking past the psychiatry he most likely grappled with a type of Schizoaffective disorder, an episodal condition which attacks both mood and thought. What a bloke, facing battles on so many fronts. The King's power was often delegated to his uncles and to his wife when he was down, so, he might have been more of an average bloke after all. 


Henry V and the Political Landscape of France

Henry V of England took advantage of Charle's mental illness and attacked aggressively, winning at Agincourt. Henry V invaded France and dominated; declaring himself successor to Charles who, was deemed illegitimate. The Treaty of Troyes stipulated that Henry's heirs would succeed him and in doing so, keep an English backside on the French Throne. There was a joint reign after both Charles VI and Henry V died. A dual monarchy of Charles VII and Henry VI. Isn't that crazy? 

Joan of Arc’s Call to Action

Eventually, we English, well the ancestors of the English, had taken most of Northern France. At this time, Joan of Arc, was a teenager and she told people that God had chosen her to save France; she convinced a nobleman, Robert de Baudricourt, to take her to see the King. Today, she'd be on a psychiatric ward with a dose of clozapine. 

Retro, vintage Joan looking sepia.

Joan of Arc Meets Charles VII

In 1429, Joan of Arc met with Charles VII and managed to persuade him of her divine mission. This individual responded by granting the teenage girl a small army, a horse and armour. According to contemporary sources she rode into battle clad in armour carrying a banner! A very psychotic young lady. 

Joan of Arc depicted in late cinema

The Battle of Orléans: A Turning Point

In May, the same year, Joan of Arc was a respected leader of the French army; she led her men to victory at the Battle of Orléans, this was a major game changer in the Hundred Years' War! She won victories and people started to believe in her divine intervention (voices in her head), would have made her presence a token blessing from God to her superstitious  contemporaries. I imagine the morale of her men may well have soured, because people believed so much superstition and religion back then! 


Joan of Arc: A Teenage Patriot and Military Leader

Joan of Arc was pious, a teenage patriot and a resistance fighter, but above all, a strategical advisor to the top brass. Can you believe this sh*t? A child. Her presence bred mixed feelings within the French and English sides. Joan of Arc proved that a girl could do the most demanding work of any man in the middle ages. Society was patriarchal with roles specific for women, this young woman challenged the status quo. Dangerous thing to do in a world of thugs. 


Contemporary Accounts of Joan’s Appearance

There are quite a few contemporary accounts, especially letters, saying that she was of average height, which was just under five feet going on fifteenth century skeletal remains. She had dark hair and was slightly tanned and a strong woman; a great horse rider, attractive, but not pretty. 

Fifteenth century highly expensive armour worn by Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc’s Capture and Trial

In 1430, the English captured the girl at the Battle of Compiègne and she ended up on trial by the Roman Catholic Church in Rouen; the charge was heresy of all things! Joan of Arc, had innocently gave herself to her religion, King and country. Iron willed, this catholic farmers daughter stood accused of crossdressing, not just some biblical sin, but doubtlessly a charge they conjured up to bring her down. Other so-called charges focused on her claims to hear divine voices and witchcraft; they claimed she was a threat to church authority. This religious moral inconsistency was a disgusting injustice. 


Joan of Arc’s Tragic Fate

Even though she persisted her innocent as they sadistically carried out their medieval torture; they still burnt her alive. It happened on May 30, 1431, in Rouen, she had only lived nineteen years. The triumph and glory of Joan of Arc was, arguably, the real trigger, that made miserable men jealous enough to conspire, and then murder this successful young mental female. Why you would betray a great military strategist for the sake of ego is beyond me. 

Young actress portraying the legend



Joan of Arc: A Symbol of Injustice

Sadly, I can't speak highly of her unwavering faith, because from my perspective that nasty religion put her on the stake. Without a shadow of a doubt, I admire her defiance, grit and determination in the face of persecution, she seemed like a remarkable soul. On a more solemn note, this is a story of injustice, sexism, religious hypocrisy and political scum killing an innocent youth


Joan of Arc’s Enduring Legacy

This young woman became the enduring symbol of French nationalism and female empowerment. In 1920, Joan of Arc was canonized by the Catholic Church, which, I find to be an audacity after the faith initially betrayed her good graces. Today at least, she is rightly honoured by the people of France, those for whom she strived for all along. 


 

Friday, 21 April 2023

Is The New 52 Justice League a bit meh?

A Deep Dive Into The New 52 Justice League: What You Need to Know! 

4 to 6 min read

Alright, let’s talk about The New 52 Justice League. If you’re looking for the ultimate superhero team-up origin story, this is it. Volume 1 is not just well-written and beautifully illustrated; it’s packed with the excitement of characters meeting for the first time, which is an absolute joy for someone like me, a graphic novel fan in his forties!

New 52 justice league

This first Justice League book is a belter. Following my reading order, the next book is Barry Allen's flashpoint story arc which created this universe; he returns home at the end of the book and his costume and his memories begin to change too. It was clever how he is absorbed into the new 52 version.

Nice artwork of the new 52 JC, slightly dating.


After finishing this volume, I’m diving right into Barry Allen’s Flashpoint arc. That twist where he returns home, and everything about him starts changing—brilliant storytelling! 

Superman takes on Batman and Green LanternThe dialogue in Origins, Vol. 1 has a spark that jumps off the page, keeping me hooked. Honestly, it's weird how comics can deliver more action than films somehow. I guess it's the art and storytelling in sequences of orderly boxes that span through the pages!! 

After all those DC films crashed from that shitty Suicide Squad (cheers, Leto Joker) to the marmite-like mess of Batman vs. Superman, it’s been trial, but mostly error! Wonder Woman seemed to save the day initially, but even her sequel cause a global mexican wave of face-palming. Even Deadpool stopped doing DC jokes after that! Luckily, we still have some decent TV shows like The Flash. Fans should be paid to make the films. 

At least the 'The New 52' was an absolute dream. It had been around a bit before the DC movie disasters, but it was new to me, and it was an exciting new dimension for DC to re-invent all of its characters! I really hope they don't reintroduce underwear on the outside of the trousers again! In Origin, we see a brand new Superman, Batman, Wonder woman, Lantern, Cyborg, Aquaman and Flash. You can see its influence on the Justice League film, but better. 

That being said, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, is it? Superman comes off a bit too cocky at times. It took a while for readers to warm up to him, he finds his footing. Green Lantern doesn’t quite shine like he did in the Blackest Night era, and Lobo? Total disaster.

Justice League movie posing


One surprisingly engaging storyline was the Throne of Atlantis arc. It dives into a conflict between the surface world and Atlantis. I’m not buying into the whole Atlantis myth, but the world-building is solid, and it gives Aquaman some much-needed depth. It’s not just mindless reading; it adds layers to the characters and their struggles.

Darkseid war snippet, great art and storyline.

You can’t overlookTrinity War and the beautifully drawn Darkseid War that wrap up the Origins saga. Darkseid is a genuinely menacing big bad boss, and he makes the stakes feel real. I found myself pulled into the drama of DC’s universe, where danger is lurking around every corner. Truthfully, I confess, I have less enjoyable characters: Cyborg is the internet on legs, Shazam comics are just written for younger audiences, Aquaman is the fishguy outdone by his Atlantis context, Wonderwoman is eye candy with an unappealling backstory—there are many compelling characters in DC. 

Darkseid looking more menacing than his film version



Looking back, the biggest cringe was 'hero' and 'villain' speak that is throughout mainsyream comics. For example, whenever I read, 'I wanna be a hero, like you,'

          'But you cannot, you're a villain!' 

          'No, I am working with Barry to become a hero!' 

It minces at my janglers slightly. These so called heroes are all pretty much vigilantes working alongside or  against the law to fight crime! The hero jargon doesn't sit right. 'Gimme your bastard wallet! Now!!!,' imagine that. 'Come on, I'm an actual villain!!' It's quite silly. 

At least the heroes are flawed and relatable, which is what draws us in isn't it? At the core of every great superhero story is that fight for justice, but that’s not what keeps these stories enjoyable, it's the smacking the shit out of each other, the war and struggles. Deaths and wagimg who will beath who. Batman is the best. Legit. 

Cartoon movie of the new 52

Now, if you check out the animated version of Origins, called War, well, let’s just say it's shit. Just read a graphic novel!

In the end, DC breathed new life into their universe with the New 52 because of the Batman and some of these Justice leagues. A comics, graphic novels or omnibus is a frozen moment of time, a slice of the DC cake preserved for you to consume. It never goes out of date. I recommend getting stuck in and then follow on into rebirth. 

Thursday, 20 April 2023

What Everyone Ignores About Hulk

Hulk Character Development: Hero vs Monster | Evolution in Marvel Comics

5 to 7 min read

When it comes to comic book characters few are as iconic as the Hulk. That's because he's a green temper tantruming vandal. He was created by the comic book legends Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1962, but has made a few evolutionary changes since—his first colour was a creepy grey, and he had more in common with Wednesday Addams than The Avengers. But who is the Hulk today? What makes him such a compelling character?

The hulk comic

The Hulk in a Nutshell

The central theme of The Incredible Hulk is contrasts, a copy and paste rebrand of Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. Likewise, we have the brilliant scientist: Bruce Banner, a man with a calling to understand the mysteries of the world and his contrasting counterpart, a super monster man with the IQ of rubber duck. An entire age of sage rage from this not so jolly green giant; he is a monster but he can't be seen as a victorian murderer, like what we see with the rage of Mister Hyde. He's a good monster, right? F*** off he is! 😂

Dr Jekyll and Hyde poster

The way Hulk/Banner interact within the confines of the same person can be interesting, but it isn't though is it? 

Bruce Banner's like the nerdy kid at school who is, to be fair, quite well mannered but boring. I get it, he is a reluctant hero because it means unleashing the beast (The Hulk). The odd bully would make the of mistake of pushing them until they'd go full-on toadlicking warriortard and kick seven barrels of shit out of them! 

Of Course The Monster is Angry! 

True, every male, from teenager to seniority felt it. All of us grimaced at his excruciatingly tightening confines, and those dangly greens, what a farmer would be proud of at the county marrow competition. Ruined. The trousers remained the same size around the crotch! They burst under a cruel pressure of body mass increase everywhere else! 

Issues With Himself? 

Hulk has beef with Banner because he's in proportion, if you know what I mean? The green drama is all an over compensating performance because he's insecure and threatened by Banner. Bruce Banner can charm and date a woman, even try it with Betty or Scarlet, that Black Widow. He can hold a conversation because of his superiour intelligence, while Hulk, is opposite. Purely for laughs we could speculate the rage monster thing is just a smoke screen protecting a very sensitive hulk. 

Hulk is a Monster (Within Editing Standards) 

Has his primordial savagery de-bowelled, decapitated, quartered innocent children, women or old people? Why have we never seen him covered in the blood of his kills? Chains of nutsacks strung around his neck? Why doesn't he practice territorial pissing or other primordial animalistic shows of dominance? He's only a vandal. He smashes stuff, then runs away from authority. 

Hulk being subdued by a collection of heroes

Unlimited Power!!! 

The Hulk's power in print, is almost limitless! He's ridiculous strong, but what's insane, is he becomes more godlike as his anger grows! The bloke lifted a mountain and jumped across cities, but still, he never kills anyone! The movie versions dropped that nonsense. 

He S**T Himself! 

Hulk was bricking! However, he is still a prick, because the US military continue to struggle with him whenever he has a dramatic meltdown! The Hulk is like a selective natural disaster, but no danger to the populace, its purely economic damage to the property. 

Iconic hulk pose from avengers

Adding Some Perspective to this Monster Hero Thing

For a moment imagine this incredible sulk is factual. Get gritty, realistic. Hulk gets lusty, not worth thinking about. If he is a monster wouldn't he consume human flesh as opposed to munching on Shawarma with the Avengers? When you follow the logic of Billy Butcher in 'The Boys' the Hulk would stand out as another bullshit PR branded hero who isn't what he seems. 

What’s the Crack? 

What would truth seeker news report after he halves a man using only his bare hands before throwing the soggy meat at a pensioner walking her yorkshire terrier? That's the crux of it, when you look at a real rage monster properly. I doubt I'm alone here. Hulk has to be either one or the other. He can't be both! There is either a real monster there or just an expensive tantrum. 

Iconic scary green eyes from 80s hulk tv show

The Green Monster is a Hero, now? 

Look, whenever an alien fleet rocks up, he plays his part and saves countless human lives. This is a eight foot off colour shit is actively choosing to help the army and support police after being a menace to them—he knows better! He's acting with intent. 

The writers should, in these scenarios, make this creature a controlled or manipulated monster at the very least. He can fall into being portrayed as a poorly designed accidental hero type monster. Ill defined. The pitbull will protect it's owners children by chewing the neighbour kids arm off. Hulk is a labrador. 

Silver age hulk comic snippet

Bruce Banner and the Hulk remind me of my bipolarity, just by observing the shifts mood alone. I can almost sympathise with Bruce Banner! Bipolar rage is also a real danger and even though my skin and eyes remain unchanged: I wouldn't hurl a car at someones house! 

However, if I was a super villain-like enemy or a comic writer, I would make Hulk very angry with himself, promote self destructive tendencies and watch hulk smash himself to oblivion. The green guy could not save himself from self obliteration—his own gimmick is rage. Brutal. 

Hulk fighting the avengers, silver age comic.

Even though Hulk's a fictional character, the issues he raises are very real. No they're not, no one smashes buildings down because they're put out. Well. . . maybe Adele. Why would we need to deal with a rage rescuer? A savage saviour? A primordial protector of people, it makes little sense. He's reduced to a muscular vandal with bad hair. How do we balance the need to protect society with the rights of a human being, cursed to be a walking maelstrom of power?

Bruce Banner transforming into the hulk

We might recognise that this quagmire is neither very good nor bad. We are led to pity Bruce Banner who lives as the tormented bearer of the guilt of smashing property and screaming at people. He's a carbon copy of Jekyll and Hyde, bugger me: it's time to do this properly! 

Hulk 2003 movie poster

I Never Got His Appeal

In some ways, 'The Incredible Hulk' can be seen as a metaphor for some kind of human condition. That's why I never wanted to play as this character when I was a child: I much prefered Superman or Luke Skywalker. Anyone else really. I mean, who wants to pretend to be the hero with cognitive impairment? 

Hulk cartoon from the 80s


Bruce Banner's emotional struggles were a constant theme in that show in the eighties. At the end of each episode the poor bastard walked away, sad and alone, while the most upsetting piano outro music left viewers miserable. 

Hulk movie snippet

Be that as it is, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Many truths would escape the story of a mountain throwing rage monster, which is, I repeat, for all intent and purposes, framed as a superhero. In Age of Ultron, for example, the green dude rampaged the city; cars are crushed (all empty of course) and our intrepid hero, booted a police vehicle into two police officers with such an impact that should've killed them—that's my point. 

Hulk kicking a car at enemies



This Hulk bloke has the potential to be a dream character, but at the moment, he's pretty much either a badly designed hero or a cheap villain with muscles. He's an intellectually challenged He-Man. Make him a monster or give it up. 

 

Wednesday, 19 April 2023

DC Rebirth Superman Became More Archetypal!

The Superman and His Rebirth! 

5 to 7 min read

The man of steel on the big screen was iconic as Christopher Reeves. There have been many since him, a few before but he is the one that stuck for many of us. Maybe because quite a few artists based their Supermen on the popular Reeves version that embedded itself in our psyche. 
Superman in black flying

This Superman in the DC Rebirth graphic novel series consists of an Action Comics run as well as one from the Superman comics of that time, and they crossover well. We can see the nod to the classic era Superman and Christppher Reeves and those earlier comics. Both merge into one narrative, well worthy of praise, but, like with all graphic novel collections, there are fillers and duller parts, but I was fascinated by how they smuggled this Superman back! 

Superman comic art

This kryptonian is the last person you would eant to seduce your wife or girlfriend, he's got a perfect masculine form, most earth woman fall at his feet and he can fly. You can't pick a fight with him because he's stronger than anything on the planet. In new 52 there was a thing between Wonder woman, and him but that was all retconned and never happened. You see, what makes Superman so good is his high morality, his extremely selfless nature. He is unlikely to cheat on people or harm anyone. The man is a long suffering do-gooder which we need in this world. 

In the evolved story, we are essentiallly viewing the future. A future way ahead in a possible Super-Reeves story. Clark Kent and Louis Lane had lost everything, and went into hiding. After surving on an alien planet during the convergence event they finally arrived on the New 52 version of earth. It was yet another parallel world for them, not tneir own. It already had a Superman of its own! What the holy hell? Isn't that such a juicy premise? Clark remains in the shadows and focuses on his family, but made himself available to assist if needed. 

Cartoon drawing of superman

If you liked Superman as a kid, you really should read these. Admittedly, it can be a confusing story if you dont read the right material first. I recommend the New 52 death of Superman (which is a must read). However, those Iconic red trunks and all that old school hero
get-up eventually return, in the end—a nod to the character's rich historical legacy. It's different with Batman because. . . well, realistically, there has been a glut of underwear free batman movies since 1989, and the comics followed suit. This is a license, an unspoken agreement between creators and fans, a fresh tradition of no bat-pants. On the otherhand, aliens from strange planets might wear their pants on the outside or disguise themselves with glasses. 

Anyway the artwork is a real pleasure from the onset, and it's a enjoyable read, with vivid colors that vitalise the dynamic angles in various action scenes. I love how they capture the sense of height when Superman takes off. Sadly there is more than just the one artist. I read all of them, and found myself wondering how he managed to father a child with Louis Lane on the first place: a strand of this Kryptonians hair can hold a ton, his sneeze can blow over a car, when he flicks a peanut it's as deadly as gun shot, so how could he fornicate with a fragile earth woman without blowing her head off or something? He can't just turn off his super strength. 

Cover art of superman, his son Jon and wife Lois.

The introduction of Mr. Oz was a bit of DC sneakery. There is a lot of that in this series. He was huge a misdirection from the upcoming Watchmen event that overshadowed every Rebirth publication. This mysterious mass manipulator from behind the scenes, was indeed, another great spoiler that has its place in Superman lore. Although he ramped up the intrigue, it did become make it clear that the rebirth of Superman was the sole purpose of the DC Rebirth initiative. 

Superman and Superboy flying at altitude.

Of course critics complained about Superman's diluted character, however, in comparison, Green Lantern's New 52 and Rebirth make this Superman look astounding! Traditionally, the man of steel is depicted as a beacon of hope and an unwavering strength who inspires the people. This Clark Kent, (in hiding as Clark White), is plagued by doubt after Convergence and witnessing the death of that worlds version of Superman; insecurity understandebly haunted him after super criminals came for his son, this all shows his human side. Relatability. Ignore the critics it's great! 


If classic Superman is the fully restored optimal version of himself, Clark White is not quite restored for much of the story. He's had to learn why his kryptonian qualities had weakened so much, and so, this gives rise to his family priorities. I tell you, I would love those powers, even though they're weaker than usual. I think he's at Homelanders level.

Clark and Lois embracing with a kiss

Bearded Clark the husband, the dad, son and friend is a richer character than the action figure he has been before. Nothing is more ideally suited than family for the Superman; that iconic and unwavering beacon of hope. Great stuff, not quite as good as Batman. 

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